Just thought I'd throw this out there; maybe someone might have ideas on how I might take steps to help myself. I've mentioned before my struggles with anxiety. One of the ways it's affected me is in the realm of work. I've always thought the term "social anxiety" best sums up my challenges, though there were other aspects in the early days like, trains, buses, certain shops, even leaving the house at times. Over the decades I've done a huge amount of work on myself and I've come far. I sometimes wonder if I could write a book. But fulfilment at work and the issue of money has continued to ellude me. Anyone who knows anxiety will understand how it can limit you, and so it's been with me, particularly in the world of career choice. Most of my working life I've been in horticulture, even for a brief time with Kew Gardens, and I now run a self employed gardening business. Now being a huge child of nature at heart there are aspects of this that I truly love. I've never been completely at ease in it though, knowing that a big part of me got into it because I didn't believe myself good enough to do anything else, and also due to the fact that when your hidden away amidst the depths of a shrubbery you don't necessarily need to connect with anyone else! All my life I've had this nagging urge to reach for more. Amongst other things one of the things I tried so hard to do was to teach Tai Chi. It's been one of the things that has helped me in so many ways hence my desire to share it, and so I trained to teach. You can imagine though the challenges that someone with social anxiety faces in leading a group of strangers. To my credit I worked away at this for on and off, eight or nine years but never made enough money beyond paying for the room hire. I've spoken to other teachers about this, and they all say it's so hard to build a following, but I've often wondered wether I'd have had more success if I'd had some kind of support, not just financial. As well as the anxiety thing I'm not a natural buisiness person. After so many defeats I eventually gave up. Due to the pandemic though I've lost work and beginning to struggle. Apart from anything else it just seems so sad that this skill I'm so passionate about isn't being used and wondered if there are support schemes out there (other than the six week pack of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy we get on the NHS here in the UK,) that people may know that might help. Or maybe that's just the luck of the draw wether something like that might be in your locality. Sorry for the long-windedness!
Curiouspaints said: Have you considered doing breath work ?
Within my Tai Chi practice I do lots of breath work and a whole host of other techniques I've learnt down the years. I practice three hours daily so I'm pretty passionate about what it does. It's all helped enormously, but I still have certain triggers one being; standing in front of a group in a leadership role. Pretty scary for lots of people I imagine, extra challenging for someone with social anxiety.
Hey MS- I appreciate what it takes to put this thought out to the group. It sounds like you get very specific benefits from Tai Chi, and have unique knowledge for others who may deal with anxiety. Are you connected to any groups or forums for people with social or other anxieties? Perhaps you could build a group for in-person or even online practice. Starting small may help you ease into the leadership role, and the common issues among participants may create a safe and supportive space for everyone involved.
MuddyMcMudd said: Hey MS- I appreciate what it takes to put this thought out to the group. It sounds like you get very specific benefits from Tai Chi, and have unique knowledge for others who may deal with anxiety. Are you connected to any groups or forums for people with social or other anxieties? Perhaps you could build a group for in-person or even online practice. Starting small may help you ease into the leadership role, and the common issues among participants may create a safe and supportive space for everyone involved.
Thankyou, and for the ideas too. I haven't looked for online groups, but will search around. I have considered the idea of teaching on-line, but I'm not sure I have the space or a good enough laptop. Not a computer person really which doesn't help!
i don't have anxiety about anything due to a few brushes with death (a period of suicidal contemplation during my 2nd marriage just to mention ONE) and before that, an evolution toward the philosophical when i developed the idea that if i tried hard enough, i could figure out "LIFE"
My point is: many of us have been conditioned to be afraid of failure, myself included. I'm not sure how i might share the serenity i carry with you (brushes with death sometimes end in death)
i think one of the anxiety factors is our materialistic conditioning - do i have a nice enough car? house? clothes? money to pay for those things? the promotion to get more money to pay for more nice things?
Maybe one of my aims is just to share my dissimilar perspective?
What if you just went out into a nearby park, and started to practice your Tai-Chi for free? Maybe make Youtube videos? (hmm... let me check and see what i find...) oops... no, lots of videos there already...
i dunno, they say when one door closes, another one opens... but maybe the door that opens takes you somewhere you don't want to go? Tough times don't last, but tough people do?
i don't have anxiety about anything due to a few brushes with death (a period of suicidal contemplation during my 2nd marriage just to mention ONE) and before that, an evolution toward the philosophical when i developed the idea that if i tried hard enough, i could figure out "LIFE"
My point is: many of us have been conditioned to be afraid of failure, myself included. I'm not sure how i might share the serenity i carry with you (brushes with death sometimes end in death)
i think one of the anxiety factors is our materialistic conditioning - do i have a nice enough car? house? clothes? money to pay for those things? the promotion to get more money to pay for more nice things?
Maybe one of my aims is just to share my dissimilar perspective?
What if you just went out into a nearby park, and started to practice your Tai-Chi for free? Maybe make Youtube videos? (hmm... let me check and see what i find...) oops... no, lots of videos there already...
i dunno, they say when one door closes, another one opens... but maybe the door that opens takes you somewhere you don't want to go? Tough times don't last, but tough people do?
hmmm...
Thanks for your thoughts. My thoughts, ( like many of us, ) can often be my own worst enemy. It seems a tricky one to me. On the one hand I still deep down believe myself to have the makings of a really good teacher, (in fact I KNOW I am) yet I've all these memories of putting so much time and effort into trying to build success but nothing much to show for it. My guess is that there's something within me, be it anxiety/lack of self belief or whatever, something subconscious that has kept me from succeeding. I'm guessing it's the social anxiety bit, (there are all sorts of bits to my strange head,) as success would mean bigger classes, but it could be other stuff as well; maybe resistance to financial success. There's been a huge poverty consciousness thing within my family. I really wanted to know if here in the UK there was some kind of support or benefit help to those people who have mental health challenges. I know there used to be. But then my experience in the past of this sort of thing is that you're ok so long as your peg fits into the hole they provide. Mine never seemed to.
There are many kinds of anxiety, normally its a voice that speaks 10% truth over a 90% lie so convincingly that we believe it.
This is the kind of thing any counsellor would be trained in doing and if they are good, then they have different methods to work with you to find the best approach (most free stuff in the UK is CBT and it's great IF it works, also it's limited sessions and a long waiting list).
Honestly get a counsellor, pay the money as it's the quickest and best way of ridding yourself of the negative thoughts.
I have similar issues with my therapy, I am debating whether to go full time and charge or continue to live on a scientist wage and do a few free sessions a week. It's all about confidence and taking the plunge.
I have not read your first post, too much of a block of text and I have issues with that (a kind of mild dyslexia) but feel free to get in contact if you want some advice. I'll have a proper ready later, I'm just a bit busy at the mo...
Silver_sea said: There are many kinds of anxiety, normally its a voice that speaks 10% truth over a 90% lie so convincingly that we believe it.
This is the kind of thing any counsellor would be trained in doing and if they are good, then they have different methods to work with you to find the best approach (most free stuff in the UK is CBT and it's great IF it works, also it's limited sessions and a long waiting list).
Honestly get a counsellor, pay the money as it's the quickest and best way of ridding yourself of the negative thoughts.
I have similar issues with my therapy, I am debating whether to go full time and charge or continue to live on a scientist wage and do a few free sessions a week. It's all about confidence and taking the plunge.
I have not read your first post, too much of a block of text and I have issues with that (a kind of mild dyslexia) but feel free to get in contact if you want some advice. I'll have a proper ready later, I'm just a bit busy at the mo...
Thanks. Yes, way too many words! Still don't think I got across what I really wanted to say. Kind of think I'm conventional therapied out in some ways though I'd consider really good private or life coach stuff if only I could afford it.
Beginning to question what I hoped to get from this post, and that's ok, no worries. It's just one of those things that seems to have thwarted me. Who knows, one day it still might happen and maybe this was one more step towards it.
I'm glad you created this post, as I have considered posting about my own issues, wondering if people would respond. I recently found a new psychologist who is a gay man and he is fully supportive of fetish and kink. It's been fantastic and freeing unlike any other counseling experience of my past. It's a great fit for me. Your post reminds me that others in this huge community, besides myself, seek support of all kinds. These forums are the best way to share our experiences and information, right?
I hope that others experiencing challenging anxiety or lack of self-confidence will respond and add to the conversation. Perhaps there are people HERE who could benefit from tai chi taught by you. I would be first in line for a zoom tai chi class where everyone is covered in their favorite substance.
Messy motivation aside, I hope there are more supportive and helpful comments and perspectives to come. Cheers and hugs to you.